song + dance

barefoot in the sunshine

Maybe it was the sunshine, my bare feet, and the easy-to-be-in breeze that reminded me: When I was a little girl, I wished and imagined and wondered what it would be like to celebrate the winter holidays in places where snow didn't fall, places where winter boots and itchy woolen socks were unnecessary. I dreamed about holidays spent barefoot by a pool, basking in palm tree-filtered sunlight. 

And yesterday, there I was: sharing Thanksgiving dinner with Tom and our friends, outside on the patio next to the pool. 

For a moment yesterday, I stopped to take it all in: my dear friend Shane in his flip-flops and shorts, opening wine while he fielded calls from friends around the world; Twilight (the person, not the book), perched cross-legged on the diving board, talking with Tom as he tuned his guitar. Duane, trained by some of the best chefs in Europe, preparing a world-class Thanksgiving dinner for all of us. And me: peeler of potatoes, preparer of (really good!) sweet potatoes, supplier of butter (lots of butter), and official event photographer.  

Then, a gentle welling of love tumbled forward as I remembered my family, tucked in somewhere warm and cozy, safe from the South Dakota winter. 

I liked knowing where everyone was. 

My sisters were both on call at the hospital. Kim and I talked for a long time about relationships and her version of Thanksgiving dinner (Yogurt + Diet Coke). Earlier, I called Jen to tell her about an entry in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (our favorite). My brother Jeremy and his family moved in to their new home: he *loves* his state-of-the-art refrigerator. My dad called early in the day from Grammie's house, where he planned to spend a quiet day with her, as she recovers from back surgery. Mom and I spoke several times. She hosted a band of the usual suspects, including my uncle Pete who beat mom in a cribbage game. Again. 

And then there was me, my family's little satellite in the desert. I wished briefly that they could be here with me. I knew that Mom would really love to see the orange trees, heavy with their ripe fruit.

And then I stood quietly right there by the pool, closed my eyes, and reveled in the fulfillment of my own dream, long held. 

Love (+more sunshine). Robyn

choose gratitude. it's good for you. and me, too.

Right now. In Phoenix, AZ Thanksgiving Day is happening. And right now, I'm sitting on the couch wrapped in my favorite blanket. My love Tom is beside me, enthusiastic and engrossed in the details his new iPhone. The TV sits in its corner, dark and quiet, just as it has been all night. Earlier, we shared a bowl of Trader Joe's Vanilla Bean Ice Cream - the best on the planet. Brett Dennen's melodic sweetness fills the space - our favorite song just ended. Check it out here: Blessed  

Since today is Thanksgiving, I thought I would take a look at a positive psychological concept that has received quite a bit of attention lately:  Gratitude.

One of my favorite psychologists, Abraham Maslow, writes: 

“It is vital that people ‘count their blessings’:  to appreciate what they possess without having to undergo its actual loss”

In the new science of gratitude, Robert Emmons, PhD and other scientists have spent the last several years researching the qualities of grateful people, the benefits of (and barriers to) gratitude, interventions (read: stuff you can do) that increase gratitude. Most recently, Dr. Emmons published his research in a book with a really cool title: Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier.  

Here are the basics:

There are psychological, physical, and interpersonal advantages of being grateful. People who practice gratitude are more alert, enthusiastic, energetic, and attentive compared with ungrateful people. They sleep better, too. Grateful people are more connected to others, and they're less lonely and less isolated than those who aren't grateful. 

Did you know that grateful people look at the world differently from ungrateful people? 

Grateful people see abundance where ungrateful people see scarcity. Grateful people look for what life has to offer instead of looking for what is being denied. Ungrateful people see life as a burden. To grateful people, life is a gift. Rather than feeling deprived, grateful people feel satisfied. Gratitude also helps people to be more responsible, ethical, and generous. 

(Don't you love knowing that? I know I do.) 

What gets in the way of gratitude?

"I forgot." 

"I was too busy" 

Forgetfulness and distractions are two ways that we block gratitude from its positive effect on our lives. It's easy to put practicing off until later. But you and I both know that later, no matter how compelling, hardly every comes. 

It's not surprising that people walk through life with a sense of entitlement, as well as those who lack of humility, may even consciously block gratitude from their experience. After all why do they need it? 

Some people may be unwilling to accept support from others. To me, the resistance to close interpersonal connections signals that a person has cut himself or herself off from the beauty and joy that the world offers every moment. 

Choose Gratitude

Here are seven ideas for cultivating gratitude in your life.  

1. Set an intention to practice gratitude.
2. Write your intentions on post-it notes and place them in prominent places around your home, your car, and your work. These are visual reminders of your gratitude practice.
3. Volunteer.  
4. Write someone you appreciate a thank you note and hand-deliver it.
5. Keep a gratitude journal or make lists of what you are grateful for. Research suggests that twice a week is sufficient: that way you won't get bored! 
6. Watch your thoughts and identify ungrateful thinking. But don't judge the thoughts! Once you notice, take a breath and refocus your intention. 
7. Use your imagination to create your own gratitude practice. 

Love (and grateful thoughts),

Robyn

creativity + food

Happy morning...

I just started reading Julia Cameron's book: The Writing Diet (Write Yourself Right Size). Her key message is that food stifles creativity; that if we're eating too much *crap*, our creative spirit is likely to follow suit. In other words, what you put in, you get out. She recommends a "clean eating" lifestyle: to eat whole and healthy foods and to drink plenty of water. And to write every single day.

So, I've been thinking about my own eating habits, which vary from reasonably good to an occasional stop at the Chix-fil-a drive through for a large diet coke. And I've been thinking about my own exercise habits, which, since my move to Phoenix in August, have been almost non-existent. I don't want to be too hard on myself, though. Adjusting to a new environment when one moves half-way across the country takes a little time.

My training in counseling psychology and psychotherapy tells me that people use food, the internet, MySpace, Facebook, as ways to quell the creative spirit. I belive that the desire to stop the creative flow comes from a fear of being overwhelmed by the spiritual process of creating. We wonder, am I going to be swept away by the words or the paint or the music? Or our heads get in the way: what if I sit to write and there's nothing there? We allow our ego minds to sit in judgment of our creativity, as though the ego knows best. Rest assured, there is always something there.

Here's what I think: I tend to use food as an excuse. Instead of picking up my pen or sitting to my keyboard when my creative spirit wells up, I reach for snack or a cup of coffee first. And by the time I'm finished, my urge to write, to create, has subsided. This week I'm trying something different: instead of reaching for food, I'm going to reach for my pen. I'm going to pay attention to the creative feeling that wells up inside of me and follow that. And I'm going to drink more water. I'm also going to move more. Yoga. Walking (Julia's recommendation is a 20-min walk/day). Stretching.

We are creative beings. The question is: will we allow ourselves to create?

My intention is to ramp up and honor my creative spirit. There is so much to write, and even more to experience in the world. I'm ready to try something a little different - how about you?

love,

Robyn